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Marriage as a Sacrament

I’ve attended a lot of wedding ceremonies, and I’ve often felt a bit dissatisfied. In more secular-leaning ceremonies, the emphasis is often on the power of the couple’s love to hold them together. In Church of Christ ceremonies, the emphasis is often on the biblical example, or the command to stay together.

I don’t really like either of these. No relationship is perfect, and no two people are perfect. Yet without a larger reference, the secular wedding ultimately has to be a kind of “worship service” for the couple’s love. On the other hand, biblical commands simply raise the stakes—they don’t help strengthen the relationship.

I suspect these are both unhealthy for many people, including the couple who are now trying to live up to them.

I suspect we’re missing something, because we’ve lost the idea of Marriage as a Sacrament.

Instead of leaning on the couple to either obey the rules, or live up to our romantic ideals, I think we should let them lean into a story and a love that is bigger than they are. I think we should let them relax in the knowledge that their story does not have to hold up the weight of the world.

I think we should let their wedding be a form of grace they receive.

In my sister’s recent wedding, I wanted to give them something sacramental. Instead of giving biblical commands, examples, or instructions—instead of simply praising their relationship—I wanted to make the service a physical and emotional act of stepping into the divine life.

Here's part of the service:

My Sister's Wedding Ceremony